On my beach run this morning…well…errr…okay, mainly walk [but hey I was tired!]….as usual, I listened, God spoke.
The main gist is learning to speak less and listen more. Sometimes, we are so busy “talking,” we just cannot hear. Come on now, we all relate to that…at least I do and pretty much everybody I know! LOL. We get caught up in what we think we hear that we do not try to clarify or understand it but we do one of two things….we run with it prematurely or we analyze it to a fault. Then, we look back and wonder why the heck everything fell apart.
Perfection is overrated. I have spent my entire life chasing after this wholeness that, quite honestly, does not exist. It is the pieces along the way that weave the pattern of life and bring you to where you are supposed to be – please NOTE that I said where you are SUPPOSED to be not necessarily where you WANT to be.
I will tell you a little story that happened to me a few years ago – I will not elaborate on the details just the main point.
I was at a very difficult time in my life…my family’s life. I was searching for answers and depending on the promises I felt, even knew, God had on my life, my [at the time] husband’s life, and my kids’ life. A group of us [well, two couples…] were walking along the beach. We kind of each drifted off in our own direction, looking for shells, relaxing, whatever. As I walked, I found myself asking God for proof that He was still there….walking through life with me, questioning my own faith, direction, and obedience. I kept seeing pieces of sand dollars along the way and thought to myself how nice it would be to find a whole one. Please, Lord, let me find a beautiful sand dollar so I know you are with me. Weird I guess but this was my process – lol. I became frustrated as the pieces of all sizes kept “littering” my path along the shoreline. God, geez, couldn’t ya just let me find one? I mean, C’mon! As I walked I felt God speaking to me and about my life and different paths that I chose, even paths that chose me…how each one was an intricate part of the design of who I am. Each weathered piece, big or small, broken or scratched, ultimately made me who I am. He began speaking about how each piece is a beautiful treasure to cherish, to learn from, to overcome, to conquer…to accept. Ahhhh. Acceptance? God, are you joking? Anyhow, I then saw the pieces differently, not as ugly, misshapen, broken, but tidbits to cherish with unique characteristics. Related to life, the pieces are what we miss every single day because we are seeking that “perfection,” that wholeness of self….wholeness of or perfection in others…totally missing the beauty in the pieces, life’s ups and downs…whether success or failure…that make us who we are...the wholeness for THAT point in our life. So, as I walked [and cried – you guys know how I am], I started apologizing to God for my selfishness, my expectations of what I want in my life, expectations of what I want Him to do, what I expect of myself…of my family….not being able to be content and accept every little piece that comes my way, knowing that God not only brings people into my life but me into theirs, leading me to the greater path that He has for me. I then told God I didn’t want to find a whole sand dollar – I wanted to see the beauty in the pieces. I felt God healing me in a way as to speak directly to my heart that He already sees me as whole and He provides ALL of the pieces along the way – it is my choice whether I pick them up and realize and respect the beauty in it. He assured me that I can be whole, a piece at a time….that He fits things together in His time, not mine. Needless to say, when I laid down myself and my motives and LISTENED to God’s, I ended up walking away that day with, YES, a beautiful perfect sand dollar. Since that time, in my moments of weakness, hurt or frustration, the beach is my peace. I have been away too long – for a few years, I forgot the lesson I learned that day. But, when I stop and listen, He reminds me and confirms His plan on my life – not my own. Often, since that indefinable walk on the beach, God has spoken to me through the sand dollar pieces and many beautiful “wholes.”
You see I was so busy “talking” to myself and “talking” to God and, yes, praying, fasting, etc….but what I failed to see was that I was not LISTENING. I thought I was but the more I thought I was, the more I thought God needed to HEAR. Yes, lol, I thought I had to plead my case before God, litigation style. As we all know, God already knows what we need before we ask and He knows our hearts intimately. It was not until I went off on my own and remained quiet and introspective, that I could truly hear what He was speaking to me.
I find myself, once again, in life’s “crosshairs” but the difference now, is I am stopping and taking the time to ask and, more importantly, LISTEN. It is day to day but, when I make the time, like this morning, God opens my eyes and ears and allows me to see the beauty he created in the “pieces.”
There is beauty in sadness, pain, loss, frustration, even anger. IT is life. There is beauty in the imperfections of self, the imperfections of others….rejecting that is easy, acceptance is the hard part.
The main gist is learning to speak less and listen more. Sometimes, we are so busy “talking,” we just cannot hear. Come on now, we all relate to that…at least I do and pretty much everybody I know! LOL. We get caught up in what we think we hear that we do not try to clarify or understand it but we do one of two things….we run with it prematurely or we analyze it to a fault. Then, we look back and wonder why the heck everything fell apart.
Perfection is overrated. I have spent my entire life chasing after this wholeness that, quite honestly, does not exist. It is the pieces along the way that weave the pattern of life and bring you to where you are supposed to be – please NOTE that I said where you are SUPPOSED to be not necessarily where you WANT to be.
I will tell you a little story that happened to me a few years ago – I will not elaborate on the details just the main point.
I was at a very difficult time in my life…my family’s life. I was searching for answers and depending on the promises I felt, even knew, God had on my life, my [at the time] husband’s life, and my kids’ life. A group of us [well, two couples…] were walking along the beach. We kind of each drifted off in our own direction, looking for shells, relaxing, whatever. As I walked, I found myself asking God for proof that He was still there….walking through life with me, questioning my own faith, direction, and obedience. I kept seeing pieces of sand dollars along the way and thought to myself how nice it would be to find a whole one. Please, Lord, let me find a beautiful sand dollar so I know you are with me. Weird I guess but this was my process – lol. I became frustrated as the pieces of all sizes kept “littering” my path along the shoreline. God, geez, couldn’t ya just let me find one? I mean, C’mon! As I walked I felt God speaking to me and about my life and different paths that I chose, even paths that chose me…how each one was an intricate part of the design of who I am. Each weathered piece, big or small, broken or scratched, ultimately made me who I am. He began speaking about how each piece is a beautiful treasure to cherish, to learn from, to overcome, to conquer…to accept. Ahhhh. Acceptance? God, are you joking? Anyhow, I then saw the pieces differently, not as ugly, misshapen, broken, but tidbits to cherish with unique characteristics. Related to life, the pieces are what we miss every single day because we are seeking that “perfection,” that wholeness of self….wholeness of or perfection in others…totally missing the beauty in the pieces, life’s ups and downs…whether success or failure…that make us who we are...the wholeness for THAT point in our life. So, as I walked [and cried – you guys know how I am], I started apologizing to God for my selfishness, my expectations of what I want in my life, expectations of what I want Him to do, what I expect of myself…of my family….not being able to be content and accept every little piece that comes my way, knowing that God not only brings people into my life but me into theirs, leading me to the greater path that He has for me. I then told God I didn’t want to find a whole sand dollar – I wanted to see the beauty in the pieces. I felt God healing me in a way as to speak directly to my heart that He already sees me as whole and He provides ALL of the pieces along the way – it is my choice whether I pick them up and realize and respect the beauty in it. He assured me that I can be whole, a piece at a time….that He fits things together in His time, not mine. Needless to say, when I laid down myself and my motives and LISTENED to God’s, I ended up walking away that day with, YES, a beautiful perfect sand dollar. Since that time, in my moments of weakness, hurt or frustration, the beach is my peace. I have been away too long – for a few years, I forgot the lesson I learned that day. But, when I stop and listen, He reminds me and confirms His plan on my life – not my own. Often, since that indefinable walk on the beach, God has spoken to me through the sand dollar pieces and many beautiful “wholes.”
You see I was so busy “talking” to myself and “talking” to God and, yes, praying, fasting, etc….but what I failed to see was that I was not LISTENING. I thought I was but the more I thought I was, the more I thought God needed to HEAR. Yes, lol, I thought I had to plead my case before God, litigation style. As we all know, God already knows what we need before we ask and He knows our hearts intimately. It was not until I went off on my own and remained quiet and introspective, that I could truly hear what He was speaking to me.
I find myself, once again, in life’s “crosshairs” but the difference now, is I am stopping and taking the time to ask and, more importantly, LISTEN. It is day to day but, when I make the time, like this morning, God opens my eyes and ears and allows me to see the beauty he created in the “pieces.”
There is beauty in sadness, pain, loss, frustration, even anger. IT is life. There is beauty in the imperfections of self, the imperfections of others….rejecting that is easy, acceptance is the hard part.
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