Every day has a lesson for all of us if we learn to look beyond ourselves for a moment. I started the day out in fear of what I had to face but realized I actually had nothing to fear at all. You see, we build things up into more than they are and soon, find ourselves seeing it as completely insurmountable. We psyche ourselves out in most cases. People are not designed to live in fear, worry and anxiety - we have created it.
I used to have a Sportrac that had a sticker across the front that stated "Fear Not." It was easy to "Fear Not" when life seemed to be going well. It is a most daunting task when it is not so rosy. My daughter flipped that Sportrac five times on the highway and came out only scratched up a bit. I remember her telling me that, in that moment, all she could think to do was pray. I know it seems odd, but this is one of my most precious memories. You see in every day life, we pray and ask for answers but sometimes we do not really want "answers," we just want our answers. There is no doubt in my mind that my beautiful daughter was protected that day. If you look at the pictures, you would imagine the person in that wreck would be severely injured...even dead. All I can think is that my child knew who to look to and who to cry out to! If I leave no other legacy but my children, what a richly blessed woman I am.
Anyway, in every day life, we let the world take over and live in fear and anxiety over many things. Like I said, today was one of those days for me. Sadly, I have had alot of those days lumped together lately. I am a single mom trying to make ends meet in a world where everyone is trying ot make ends meet. Most often, I fail miserably which results in worry, concern, anxiety...fear! But the bible tells us that we are not to worry about what we will wear...what we will eat and most importantly, not to worry about tomorrow, it can take care of itself. But, how often, do we really understand and apply that?
Today, I walked into a situation and despite the opposition, I made the choice to show grace, mercy and kindness. Obviously, I am no saint nor do I seek accolades for the gesture but I was proud I could display my character. It was met with resistance of course and the action went without appreciation or acknowledgement. If anything, I was faced with an outright defiant attitude. However, I walked out of there knowing, for the first time in awhile who I was and where my provision lies. Not in man but in the plan God has carefully and strategically laid out for me and my kids. I left there knowing I could begin to close this chapter regardless of how hard it has been the past couple of years and still is now. My book is not anywhere near the end but just the next chapter unfolding. :)
